A Therapeutic Return

After a two year hiatus, I’m giving this another try. Sharing can be extremely cathartic. So much has happened. So much is different.

I thought that my quarter-life crisis was a pivotal point in my life. If only I knew then how uncertain life could be. How much growing I had to do. I’m now in my “late” twenties (Ick!) and have no clue what my future holds. I’ve started over in so many senses.

The catalyst being the end of my five year relationship. It sounds exceptionally negative to refer to this time period as my life falling apart, especially when so many things have actually improved. Let’s call it my life falling together. That’s better. Always the optimist! The end was a long time coming. Likely should have happened far sooner, but isn’t that the way with most of our failed relationships? Staying just a smidgen past the expiration date? Twisting the cap off the milk and giving a tentative sniff until we’re sure it’s really spoiled this time.

Since posting about my 30 Before 30, I have made some pretty oustanding progress. I made it to Vegas and won a whopping $46. As insignificant as that sounds, it paid for two whole drinks! Oh, Vegas. Your cocktails are so expensive. I posted already about adding to my art collection. Since then I have inked two more beautiful pieces onto my body. I saw a show on Broadway. Aladdin! And got a massive raise/promotion. I found my inner yogi. Went to a music festival. Though it wasn’t as awesome as I had hoped. I have plans to travel alone in May to hike in the Rocky Mountains. Finally, I moved. While not in the way I had anticipated, that one can still be checked off my list.

Looking at my list now and seeing where I was at 25, there are several items I would now remove. But as the saying goes: hindsight is 20/20.

Moving forward with life has been wondrously eye-opening. It sounds nauseatingly cliche, but sometimes I feel like I’m seeing the beauty in the world for the first time. I have so much more freedom. Freedom to come home from work late and not cook dinner. Freedom to sleep until noon on the weekend. Freedom to get up at seven on the weekend. Freedom to do whatever the fuck I want to do whenever the fuck I want to do it. Who knew how liberating autonomy could be?

Everyone says your 20s are about finding yourself. I’m finding that to be exceedingly accurate as I continue to approach my 30s. While there is some comfort in the idea of truly knowing yourself, I hope to never stop growing the way I have over the last eight months. With any luck I will stick to it this time to document the journey.