Quarter Life Crisis?

For the past few months, I have been having urges to make big changes in my life. I almost got impulsive tattoos a few times, seriously contemplated career changes, and tried several new things. After realizing that this is a trend I have been on, I dubbed this my year to have a quarter life crisis.

It’s incredibly common to experience mid life crises and do something drastic like buy a sports car. Hell, my dad did it last year; he randomly went and bought himself a BMW Z4. While the new whip is a fun drive, it affirms the notion that this is not unusual. Hitting that period in your life when you’re an “empty nester,” have worked hard for many years, and are suddenly seeing how short your future may be sounds absolutely terrifying. No wonder we make big changes in our lives at that point! Buying a car certainly is healthier and safer than doing something like going on a drug and alcohol bender to deal with your fears.

Now, I am not mid-life nor forseeing a short future for myself, but I am certainly at a pivotal moment in my life. I am a young professional who is mourning the loss of my early twenties when acting crazy and irresponsible was not only allowed, but expected. Here I am, wishing I had taken advantage of that brief period of my life and done something crazy.

Maybe I should have moved to Paris, lived in a patisserie, and gotten fat like I wanted to three years ago.

Maybe I shouldn’t have listened to my dad when he said “no” and gotten my nose pierced anyway.

Really and truly, I am happy with where I ended up in my life. I certainly did some ridiculous things in my early twenties and managed to keep up with my studies. In fact, looking back, it’s pretty spectacular that I survived the college years at all with some of the dumb decisions I made. Yet, I pulled it together and somehow made it here. A few months shy of 25, in a wonderful relationship, a homeowner, and mother to three fur-babies.

So, why am I still experiencing this urge to do something major?? Sadly, I don’t have an answer and will continue self-reflection until I find some peace with myself. I’ve decided to start a sort of bucket list, 30 Things Before 30, if you will. And I already started!

Here’s #1: Ditch my lifeless brown locks and go for a bold color.

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So now I’m a spicy redhead! Making changes feels good- maybe this quarter life crisis isn’t  such a bad thing…

– C

My Mother, My Role-Model

As Mother’s Day fast approaches and it has been another year where I see my mother less and less, I find myself reflecting on all of the wonderful things that encompass being a mother, especially my mother, and how much I miss her.

When I was a child, my mom was the most beautiful, yet terrifying, human being I knew. We were fortunate that she was able to stay home with us girls- all four of us within 5 years of each other. I’m sure she doesn’t think she was the perfect mother and remembers specific moments in raising us that she regrets, but I can’t say one bad thing about my childhood with her. She was playful and fun, but also laid down the law when need be. I grew up when spanking was completely acceptable and am confident that I am better for being whacked on the backside a few times. I even look back at getting my mouth washed out with soap as a learning experience. Today, I’m not sure what I said to earn such a punishment, but I can assure you I never said it again. I can still taste the Dial liquid hand soap as I type. Blech. But really, I was never punished to a severity that was abuse, only to put me in my place and remind me who was boss.meme

As a teenager, of course I thought my mom was too strict. I wanted to stay out later, go out more frequently, basically just be free. I don’t think I really had the balls to do something truly badass, but my mom sure as hell didn’t let me find out. Thanks, mom. Now, I truly appreciate this.

I wish I had understood the value of her coming to every single dance competition, softball game, school event, etc. and showed her more appreciation. She worked insanely hard to remember each and every thing all of us didn’t like to eat and make meals that we all would enjoy. Her personal life and desires took a back seat to being a mom. I don’t think I ever saw her shop for herself until I was about 14. As I grow into adulthood and learn about my mom as a person and not just “mom,” I love and respect her even more.

I look up to the way she raised my sisters and me.

I look up to the way she always starts conversations with strangers.

I look up to the way she spent hours listening to trivial drama, but still was genuinely interested in my life.

I look up to the way she always finds a good deal.

I look up to the way she works hard at everything she tackles.

I look up to the way she is a great friend to all those in her life.

I look up to the way she can be assertive in any situation.

I look up to the way she is patient with everyone.

I look up to the way she demonstrates a selfless love in all her relationships.

I am beyond blessed to have such a wonderful role-model in my life. When I grow up, I want to be just like my mom.

Mom and Me

Mom and Me

– C

Oh Oreo, Oreo! Wherefore art thou, Oreo?

In my belly, that’s where! Yup, I just housed six Oreos and feel no shame. But where did this sudden craving come from? And why does society tell me it’s not okay to do this?

I was at the local grocery store yesterday and was cutting through the snack/cookie aisle to get to the registers- this is never a good idea. Why don’t I ever remember I should go down the organic aisle or produce or something until I’m already staring at the glorious, blue packages of Oreos? They’re a guilty pleasure of mine that I find extremely difficult to resist if my mind so much as hints that I should have some. Yes, I have been told and am well aware that they’re processed garbage that I should not allow to enter my body.

I relented and gave in to my sudden salivation tossing a pack of double stuffed into my cart. They looked strangely out of place next to my granola, fat free yogurt, and pile of veggies. Yet, they were all I could think about as I cashed out, drove home, and put away my other purchases. As soon as everything was in its proper place, I tore into the package of Double Stuf Oreos like it was my freaking job. You would think I hadn’t eaten all week to see me inhale those cookies.

Dip in milk, bite, repeat. Oh, the deliciousness!

So, where do these sudden, intense cravings come from? Apparently there’s a crazy mix of biological, chemical, and brain action that leads to cravings and affects more women than men (surprise, surprise). Considering I am not PMSing, I’m not sure of the reason for the immediacy of this particular craving, but I am okay with it existing. There is no reason to feel guilty for indulging in an inexplicable need for a certain food once in awhile. Sure, I wish I craved things like broccoli; however, what’s the fun in life without giving into your primal need for pleasure every now and again? It just so happened that the pleasure I desired involved my taste buds.

I plan to finish this whole package by myself. It may take me a week. It may take me two months. But I won’t allow myself to feel one drop of embarrassment or guilt for enjoying every last delectable bite.

Pole Fitness vs. Exotic Pole Dancing. A Biased Opinion.

In light of last week’s open house at Lorraine Michaels Dance Centre, I felt the need to express my opinion on the two pole dancing classes offered at the studio. Keep in mind that I am highly biased because I take Heather’s class and it is the perfect fit for me. I stress for me because everyone is looking for something different in a class.

I have never taken the Thursday night classes offered by another instructor and was looking forward to the open house so I could see how hers differed. They were scheduled to perform and I was very curious! I sat down at the front of the dimly lit room with no expectations.

Dressed in black clothing, the women took their respective places by the four  poles and two chairs set up. I was surprised to notice the instructor standing by a chair in the performance area occupied by a man (not many men are typically seen around pole class). As the rock music played, I was transfixed and somewhat appalled. It took a serious effort to keep my mouth from gaping open in surprise. The instructor was giving a legitimate lap dance to this man in the chair (who I am assuming was her husband?) and the whole room had transformed into a strip club, luckily no removal of clothing was happening. A painful 8 minutes of discomfort was about all I could handle when watching this performance. I could feel the awkwardness in the air coming off of the other viewers who had just come from watching a beautiful waltz performance in the other studio. That sealed it, the other class was definitely not for me.

I would like to thank my instructor, Heather, for making the women in her class feel empowered, sexy, and strong without teaching us to grope ourselves or slide our hands provocatively up and down the pole. I feel like I am taking an aerial art class, not How to Be a Stripper 101. Had I gone to this other class the first time, I would have left before it was over and never returned. Instead, I found a great new hobby that works out all of my muscles and makes me feel more confident.

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That’s me doing my “I’m tired” version of a flag. Do you have any experiences with pole dancing? I would love to hear them!

– C

If Endometriosis were a Person…

If Endometriosis were a person, she would be the meanest bitch you’ve ever met. I’m not talking big sister telling you you’re worthless kind of mean; I’m talking sadistic, gets-pleasure-from-ripping-out-your-insides mean.

If Endometriosis were a person, she would become your “frenemy” during adolescence and never leave you alone.

If Endometriosis were a person, she would laugh as you cried, curled up in agony during your period each month.

If Endometriosis were a person, she would have a magic wand that allowed her to inflict crippling pain and/or bloating on women at any time of their cycle.

If Endometriosis were a person, she would have telepathic capabilities that allow her to ruin your life. She would read your mind to thwart your visions of a happy future.

If you have an upcoming event that you’re looking forward to, she would use her magic wand to send you cramps and diarrhea. If you have a day at the beach planned, she would make you look instantly 15 pounds heavier with the flick of her wrist. If you wanted a baby she would seal up your ovaries with scar tissue and cause you unfathomable heartache.

If Endometriosis were a person, she would keep you up all night before a big presentation and punch you in the uterus right before you pitched your idea.

If Endometriosis were a person, she would slip you pills that give you migraines.

If Endometriosis were a person, she would teach you to curse being a female and dread menstruation.

If Endometriosis were a person, she would be the meanest bitch you’ve ever met.

Endometriosis can attack any organ in the body, but primarily affects reproductive tissue.

Endometriosis can attack any organ in the body, but primarily affects reproductive tissue.

March is National Endometriosis Awareness Month. Too many people have never heard of this terrible disease that causes immense pain both physically and emotionally in as many as 1 in 10 women. For more information check out the link below.

http://womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/endometriosis.html

– C

30 Before 30: Second Installment of the Dirty Thirty Bucket List

Well, it has been a few months since my first installment and I can now cross one more goal off of my list! 5. Get a new tattoo.  I now boast a couple of tiger lilies with my favorite quote on my … Continue reading